the countdown begins

And so it is. On July 26th I will be on a plane out of Indianapolis headed towards Denver (after a layover in Atlanta, of course) to visit my family and be in paradise. Five days later I will get on another plane which will go to Los Angeles, where I will get on another plane which will take me to Anchorage, Alaska. After a 12 hour layover I'll get on another plane, a much much smaller plane, which will take me to Unalakleet, my new home for the next year. Talk about a direct flight. Anyway, I'll be at my final destination on August 1.

This is probably the scareist thing I've ever done. Remember when I was stuck in a hurricane in Orlando? Maybe not, but this is so much scarier than that. I highly recommend it.

20 days.

Don't get too attached, now.

old habits, new things

I like to take pictures.
They're usually not all that good, but I like to do it anyway.
Here are a couple that I happen to have on me that I thought were pretty good.
I call this first one: (I actually haven't thought of a title yet...)




I was at the Indiana State Fair (which I will miss this year, which is very very sad) last year and there were these old women line dancing. It was this whole Clarian Dance for Health group thing, so they danced for us at the fair. It was pretty cool, you know, good music, sideline entertainment, whatever. Anyway, most of the people were super nervous. But this woman was so in to her dance. She was like a natural on stage!! She was having a total blast, so I had to take a picture of her because she just made me smile. I have another photo of her somewhere that is also pretty good, but this one's my favorite because you can see her whole face, which is pretty much all smiling. Yeah, I would be her friend.





This next one also doesn't have a title.
Clearly titling my photos is not my strong point.
Maybe I'll just call it "Luke" - since that's who is in the picture.




He was holding ice up on his knee because he fell or something. He just had this really disappointed, kind of pensive look on his face. The whole bottom third of the photo is the table, but I don't mind. I like the kitchen utensils on the top right. I don't know, it just looks real, like a real home or something. I like the way the light captures all the curves of his skin on his face and on his arm.

So that's enough for now. Nothing exciting going on. I'm a nanny for my baby cousin, which is turning out to be a 24 hour deal. I don't mind so much, because I love her, and I don't mind taking care of her because I know the alternative. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not having kids for a looooooong time, if ever, but I'm glad to have something to do. And it's family. It's not even a matter of "do I mind" or "can I" - it's just "do" because she's family. That's what families do. I wonder what Layla will be like when she is older...

communal life

How can I be an effective member of a community when I am always on my way out of wherever I am? I am always moving on, and this isn't fair to the people I am with when I am actually with them. It's a balance between building relationships and not getting too close, too attached, because goodbye is always certain. But when this is all over, I am going to have some great story to tell, eh? And the world I knew will have lived on without me, and I will be alone on top, though on top, alone nonetheless.

"Life is not a lonely experience, but an alone experience, and I think that's why writers write." ~Susanna Childress

(You are never dead until you are dead. Until then, don't stop living.)

my phone is in Buffalo, but my heart is on the road

I moved back to Indiana for the summer. It's good to be home. :) But I left my phone in my apartment in Buffalo, along with a big mess. My roommate probably hates me right now. It's okay, I would totally understand. So I'm hoping to have my phone back by next week, but we'll see. In the meantime I'll be ignoring a lot of people. Also, I'm not able to check my gmail account or facebook on my mom's computer, which is a little bit frustrating. Alright, a LOT bit frustrating. But again, oh well. Indianapolis is great. You might not think so, being a midwestern city. Most might even believe it is boring. But not so, my friends. Not so. The zoo has a new exhibit open and is advertising that you can touch live sharks. Does that sound boring? No, it does not. The Indianapolis 500 - also not boring. The list goes on and on, and if I were to keep going you would not be bored.

insert squeel of excitement, like the sort you would hear from a thirteen year old girl

I AM GOING TO ALASKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem. I just got really excited. So this post is far from thought provoking or poetic or anything like it. I am just really extremely excited to be on a plane, looking out the window to see where I will be living for the next year. It's a new adventure, a new chapter for me, a new start, a new everything. I am addicted to adventure, so who knows what I'll be doing next. After a year or two I'll probably be ready for something new. I am starting to think it might be a problem, my need to move around so much, to do new things, to change, to have an adventure, to create a story for myself to tell that most people don't have, as if it makes me a better person. Am I trying to make something of myself worthy to boast about, just so I can boast? Am I a boaster? Or am I sincere? And another thing, I often wonder if there is a way to be too independent. I think there is a line, a boundary, past which a person is so independent that s/he loses the ability to be completely human, and that person may have to learn how all over again. I think I've been spending too much time alone. But that will all change, because I'm going to Alaska. :)