my phone is in Buffalo, but my heart is on the road

I moved back to Indiana for the summer. It's good to be home. :) But I left my phone in my apartment in Buffalo, along with a big mess. My roommate probably hates me right now. It's okay, I would totally understand. So I'm hoping to have my phone back by next week, but we'll see. In the meantime I'll be ignoring a lot of people. Also, I'm not able to check my gmail account or facebook on my mom's computer, which is a little bit frustrating. Alright, a LOT bit frustrating. But again, oh well. Indianapolis is great. You might not think so, being a midwestern city. Most might even believe it is boring. But not so, my friends. Not so. The zoo has a new exhibit open and is advertising that you can touch live sharks. Does that sound boring? No, it does not. The Indianapolis 500 - also not boring. The list goes on and on, and if I were to keep going you would not be bored.

insert squeel of excitement, like the sort you would hear from a thirteen year old girl

I AM GOING TO ALASKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem. I just got really excited. So this post is far from thought provoking or poetic or anything like it. I am just really extremely excited to be on a plane, looking out the window to see where I will be living for the next year. It's a new adventure, a new chapter for me, a new start, a new everything. I am addicted to adventure, so who knows what I'll be doing next. After a year or two I'll probably be ready for something new. I am starting to think it might be a problem, my need to move around so much, to do new things, to change, to have an adventure, to create a story for myself to tell that most people don't have, as if it makes me a better person. Am I trying to make something of myself worthy to boast about, just so I can boast? Am I a boaster? Or am I sincere? And another thing, I often wonder if there is a way to be too independent. I think there is a line, a boundary, past which a person is so independent that s/he loses the ability to be completely human, and that person may have to learn how all over again. I think I've been spending too much time alone. But that will all change, because I'm going to Alaska. :)

Regardless of the reality you always knew that is, the end of a fantasy that could have been is still a little bit depressing. It's just another reminder that, once again, I need to stop fantasizing. Thinking is one thing, realizing your existence, noticing, perceiving others, all good things. Creating other worlds and loving those worlds more than the actual one can be quite dangerous if not kept under control. And then I remember that we are all capable of being the people that we ostracize: those in jail and in mental health homes and in any kind of therapy, be it marriage, family, or psycho, etc.

In other news, this picture of Unalakleet, AK (my upcoming hometown) made me laugh. This is in the middle of winter:

For reference, this is Unalakleet in the summer: