It was always you.

Did you ever know someone, well, meet someone who you sort of got to know but never really had the chance (or the courage) to get to know? The lack of courage, the fear, because this idealistic person that you have created, or I have created (let's be honest here) might not like who I am. I mean, I like me (I won't lie) - but this person makes me want to be a better person. When I hear what this person says, see what this person does, read what this person wrote, the words, I can't even describe it. I used to call it a crush. And then I called it love. It's too bad, really, because this person - this person is probably not as divine as I allow myself to believe that he is. You guessed it, I have been obsessed (that sounds disgusting) with the same person, in love if you will, enamored, completely smitten with the same person for over four years. Isn't that sad? And truthfully, I will probably never see him again. He probably doesn't even think about me, or even remember me all that well. I was just this girl that said stupid things to him because he made me nervous. People don't make me nervous - I am confident and outgoing - but he did it, he made me nervous, and I loved every minute of it. And so I just read something that he wrote, because I am a bona fide stalker, I'll admit it, and once again, I sunk deep into myself, and my eyes began to twitter, and I acted very much like an overly dramatically emotional person, which I try very hard not to be, because the emotions that are drawn out of me by the very thought of him are, believe it or not, obviously very real, because I can no longer control them. Maybe I only love the idea of him because I don't really know him as well as I think I do, but nonetheless, I love him. It's just too bad my life isn't a chick flick.