The human ability to survive is astounding, even to humans. They often believe that they would not be capable at some particular task, usually specified by the individual human, but when the occasion arises they are more often than not overly equipped to step up to the plate. And that's exactly what they do. Humans are 100% successful at life. They just have a hard time realizing it. One does what one has to do to survive. We can live under incredible circumstances. Americans, unfortunately, have become spoiled with indoor plumbing, heated homes, air conditioning, stove top ovens, microwaves, separate rooms in a house, insulation, and pre-packaged foods, among other things. CD players, tape players, recorders, computers, printers, and photographs, moving and still, with the option of color, gray scale, or sepia. Telephones that do more than call people, televisions, DVD and VHS movie players, electric lights, non-stick pans, plastic bags, and door knobs. What did we ever do before the wheel? Before the telescope or the vacuum cleaner, or carpet for that matter? Before speakers, before microphones, before mattresses and pillows, before fabrics we can't even pronounce? Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong century. I still like my music box.

Unitarian

Since I just moved to Buffalo (for serious this time), I decided to look for a church. When I was student teaching I hadn't planned on staying around, so I didn't look for a church because church is something that only becomes meaningful (to me) if I can invest in it. If I know I am leaving in just a short time, it makes the investment less, well, invested.
Anyway, this was my first Sunday of searching. I went to a Unitarian Church over on Elmwood. If you live here, you may know of it. It is a magnificent building. The sanctuary is beautiful - the woodwork, the windows, and the ceiling!! The ceiling, I think, is my favorite part. Even human made inanimate objects leave me in awe sometimes. I think this is strange because I am so taken by God's creation. Is it okay to be so deeply moved by aesthetic beauty that was not created by God?
The service talked about "Vision in Chaos" - that was the title. The reading was the story of Lot's wife and a poem written from her perspective. I found it overly sentimental, and I think it was more an attempt to draw the poets, the heartfelts, and the educated folks all at the same time. Perhaps I am too much of a cynic. It's funny, though, because this church is based on cynicism, isn't it? They refuse to believe in one definite faith - it's like an escapist's church. Everyone there has their own faith, although they all tend to agree with each other. Even those kinds of people need fellowship, I suppose.
The thing I appreciated most about this church is their activity in political issues that affect the society. They have a strong doctrine of service and of freedom. They all wrote letters to Assemblyman Sam Hoyt about the freedom of gay marriage in New York, and he spoke directly to the church this morning. This is a touchy subject, gay marriage. The truth is, I don't even think it should be a subject. This country was founded on the basis of religious freedom; the separation of church and state was done for a reason, and a good one. The reason people do not want gay marriage to be legal is because of their own religion's moral convictions. But what about the gay/lesbian couple's moral convictions? Do they not matter, simply because evangelicals think George Washington would agree with them? I have to, out of my own convictions, say that if my convictions matter, so do everyone else's. What two people do is their own decision, and no one else has to suffer or not suffer whatever consequences or rewards come of it. In short, mind your own friggin business. (That's what they say down in B-land, yo.)
I was thinking really hard about this service I just attended as I walked home in the rain. It kept my mind off of the fact that my fingers were freezing. I wondered if I could be a Christian and still attend this church. I'm sure that, in theory, I could. They have a doctrine of acceptance, so I don't imagine I would be kicked out. They have a great ideal of service, so I would be able to invest in something. The people seem very nice, so there would be great opportunities of fellowship. But I think that I would lack the encouragement of my own faith that I probably really need. And who would I be able to encourage? I'm sure, no matter where I go, there will always be someone who needs encouragement. I, however, am not immediately drawn to the pastor who seems to try too hard, though he is very very nice, I'm sure.
Anyway, in conclusion, I will be attending Concerned Ecumenical Ministries next Sunday for the second week of my church search. It is a much shorter walk, which is perhaps why I chose it to be next.

Same Day Bloog

Bloog - a typo that I appreciate.

I found it on the other side of the sunrise
where the moon was left to play with stars, and
everyone enjoyed the dark
because the noise was soft, and
the lights were dim, and
nothing seemed to matter like it does
when the sun is beating down on us
like it is today.
So just wait
for the other side of the sunrise
when the sky is a pink reflection
of the victories and failures of today.

Tomorrow this will look different. I'll probably hate it. I'll probably say, what were you thinking when you thought this was any kind of poetry? You are not a poet. You are a fool with a good vocabulary, a fool who thinks too much about things that amount to nothing in the end. But then, so does everyone else. And very little matters in the end - so what else would I think about? As I justify my self.

The First One

I can't think of what to write this morning. Not that it really matters. Not today.

I wish I were not so in love with a person who does not exist in my life. But - I live in an amazing city, and I am making new friends, and I think I feel sick. I had too much sugar last night.

I miss my family of friends.

There is a cat who hangs around our house in the evenings. It must be nice to be a roamer. But then, the cat has no home, and it cries at night.

I just got a degree, and somewhere subconsciously I think I always feel a need to say it out loud. "Oh yeah, I have a degree, I can do that." Do I need to remind myself? Do I need to make sure everyone around me knows it? I am pretty sure I am the only one who cares. I wish sometimes that there was another me to punch me in face sometimes and say, "Shutup, Karis."

Yeah, way too much sugar last night. Blech.